The Boyfriend Application Read online

  THE BOYFRIEND APPLICATION

  by

  R. J. Groves

  Copyright © 2018 by R. J. Groves

  Edited by Graham Toseland.

  www.fadingstreet.com

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  To Elli Rachel for always being with me in my heart.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Second Chance (excerpt)

  Chapter 1

  “Of course I’m coming to the party, Patricia.”

  Lacey rolled her eyes, stepping into the elevator and punching in the floor number of her office. The weekend she’d been dreading was finally here. Patricia—her grandmother, who refused to be called anything that identified her as the oldest living person in her immediate family—had organised a retirement party for Lacey’s dad. She could hear her grandmother’s voice talking through the earpiece.

  “I’m just making sure, Lacey,” Patricia said. “I know how much you focus on your work. I was worried you’d forgotten.”

  Lacey had always been close to her grandmother. Her grandfather had passed away when she was a baby. Since then, Patricia had lived with them, being a best friend, confidant, and mentor to her, her sister, Emily, and their older brother, Marcus. Of course, once Emily got married to David and started having kids, and Lacey moved two and a half hours away to work as an illustrator for a half-literature, half-cooking magazine, phone calls became the regular thing. Every morning on her way to work, like clockwork, Patricia would call. Her relationship with the rest of her family could be told differently.

  “Well, I remembered. So don’t go having a heart attack on me.”

  She heard Patricia gasp. “Lacey Kemper, how many times have I told you not to joke about something so serious?”

  “Clearly, not enough.”

  Lacey watched the elevator doors closing in front of her and jumped when a hand shot between them. The doors opened again and Adam—one of the magazine’s reporters—stood next to her. He was a good head-height taller than her, with tousled hair the colour of milk chocolate, eyes the colour of coffee, and a smile that had girls melting over him. Not her, of course. No dating work colleagues—that was her rule. Things get messy when you bring a relationship into the workplace.

  “Morning, sweetheart,” Adam said, pressing the button to close the elevator doors.

  “Who was that?” Patricia yelled into her ear. “Is that him? Mr Snuggles?”

  Mr Snuggles—her imaginary boyfriend she had made up to get her family off her back about being perpetually single. She couldn’t think of a name to give him, so she called him Mr Snuggles. Her excuse—she didn’t want to jinx their relationship. Once her family knew his name, there was more pressure for them to work. Somehow, she’d managed to convince them that was the case.

  “No, it’s not.”

  She glared at Adam, a mischievous grin on his face, and tapped her ear to indicate she was on the phone. He mouthed the words I know and winked. God, he annoyed her.

  “But you’re bringing him, right?” Patricia continued. “We’re all looking forward to meeting this elusive boyfriend of yours.”

  “Uhh, I don’t think so,” she said hesitantly. “He has work commitments to deal with.” Adam raised an eyebrow at her.

  “Nonsense! You’ll bring him, or the party is cancelled.”

  “You can’t do that, Patricia! Dad’s the focus of the party, not me.”

  “Am I cancelling or not, Lacey?”

  Lacey shut her eyes tightly. As if she didn’t have enough to worry about. She hadn’t been able to keep a guy for years—not with her work schedule. How was she supposed to find a boyfriend in less than a day? Still, she knew Patricia was a woman of her word. And Lacey hated to disappoint her.

  “All right, I’ll bring him.” She felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach as she said it. How on earth was she going to pull this off?

  “Good! I’ll see you both tomorrow, then.”

  Lacey heard the call end and ripped the earpiece from her ear, shoving it into her handbag. She let out a groan of frustration and heard the elevator ding. For a second, she’d forgotten she wasn’t alone.

  “Trouble in paradise?” Adam asked, nudging her arm.

  “You,” she said, glaring up at him. “Are an asshole.”

  She exited the elevator and beelined towards her office, proud of the fact that, for once, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect than when the elevator doors opened at the same time as her insult. But she couldn’t say the same about the new dilemma she was facing.

  ΅ ΅ ΅

  “So, you’ve lied about having a boyfriend for a year, and now you have to bring him to the party?”

  Lacey nodded and dropped her head onto her arms that she had resting on the desk.

  Hanna exhaled, shaking her head. “Damn, Lace. Why did you lie about it to begin with?”

  “Mum,” she said. “She was always so critical of me being single. I got annoyed with it one day and told her I had a boyfriend, we just weren’t … serious.”

  “You’ve been dating a year, so I’d say that’s reached serious.”

  She groaned. “I guess that’s why they want to meet him.” Realistically, she’d hoped she might have had a real boyfriend by now to introduce to them. She should have known better than to test her luck. “I’m screwed, aren’t I?”

  Hanna hummed. “Not entirely,” she said. “You just need to find someone to be your boyfriend for the weekend. And maybe any other functions in the future—like your wedding that Patricia will plan.”

  “Not helping, Han.” Lacey looked up at her, a plan forming in her mind. “But I could say we broke up after the weekend.”

  “Well, that would be the more logical thing to do,” Hanna admitted.

  “But where am I going to find a boyfriend in less than a day?”

  Hanna shook her head slowly, a conniving smile forming on her face. “Oh, Lacey. Between the interns, the IT department and everyone else, there must be over fifty people working here. I’d bet over half are of the male species and wouldn’t mind a holiday for the weekend.”

  “I don’t date co-workers, Hanna. You know that.”

  “You don’t have to date them. You just have to pretend to date them for the weekend.”

  Hanna was right. It wasn’t as though it would be a real relationship. But it still had to be someone she could stand being around for the weekend—and that was a hard enough task on its own. Of course, a notice in the tea room would probably be the best way to get word out. No way was she going to walk around begging people. No—they could come to her. She opened up a blank document on her computer and started typing.

  FAKE BOYFRIEND NEEDED FOR MY FATHER’S RETIREMENT PARTY ON THE WEEKEND. SEE LACEY KEMPER (ILLUSTRATOR’S OFFICE) TO APPLY.

  She made the font as big as she could get it on one page and hit the print button. Hanna collected the sheet from the printer and brought it over to her, her eyes scanning the page.

  “A boyfriend application,” Hanna teased. “I never thought I would see the day.”

  “Just remember that it was your idea,” Lacey said. “So, if I
don’t come back on Monday, assume I’ve been kidnapped, and send out a search party.”

  “Aye, aye,” Hanna mocked, tapping her hand to her forehead in a salute. “I’ll put this in the tea room for you. Knowing you, you won’t do it until after lunch. At least I can help get the ball rolling.”

  “I don’t suppose your boyfriend is free this weekend?” Lacey teased.

  “Sorry, darl.” Hanna winked, stopping at the door. “We have plans of our own this weekend.” She brought her hand to her chin, her other arm crossing over her chest. “But I bet Adam Woods would be available for it. I’ll drop by his office on the way to the tea room.”

  Lacey’s eyes widened. “Don’t you dare!”

  Not Adam—no way. She could barely stand to be down the hall from his office. She always insisted he send her the reports via email so she could organise the illustrations, but he’d always been persistent about bringing them in himself—to make sure she got it. The idea that she would have to sit in a car with him for two and a half hours and then spend the weekend trying to convince her family he was her boyfriend terrified her. It would be doomed to failure.

  Hanna winked again and waved her fingers at her before leaving her room, a skip in her step. God, Hanna was getting more enjoyment out of this whole ordeal than she ever would. She just hoped her plan wasn’t a lost cause from the start.

  Chapter 2

  There was another knock on her door and she let out a big sigh. The notice had gone up in the tea room two hours ago and, so far, she hadn’t had anyone inquire about it who was even remotely interesting enough to spend the weekend with. Not to mention someone her family could believe she could be with. Fairly sad, considering a quarter of the guys who worked at the magazine must have been through her office.

  “Come in,” she said, exasperated.

  If this was another Bill from IT with an awkward laugh and braces, she might just have to tear the notice down and resign herself to the fact that her family was going to be incredibly disappointed in her. Knowing her mother and her grandmother, they would have told everyone that Lacey was finally bringing her boyfriend home. But that was her life—forever a disappointment. The door opened, and she heard the sharp tapping of his footsteps and looked up, her heart dropping in her chest. God, she wished Hanna would listen to her.

  “How’s your boyfriend hunting going?” Adam teased, a pile of paperwork in his hand.

  “When I find one, I’ll let you know,” she dropped her gaze back to the illustration she was working on.

  “That good is it?”

  “If you’re interested in doing it, the answer is no.”

  “Doesn’t sound like you can be too picky, Lacey,” he said. “I’m not here to be your fake boyfriend. Though, I have to admit, when Hanna told me about it, I couldn’t believe it at first. It really was the highlight of my day.” He dropped the pile of paperwork on her desk. “I’ve got the reports for you to illustrate. They need to be done by the end of the day, so don’t let your little project get in the way.”

  She glared up at him. “Wait, you weren’t even interested in it?”

  He raised an eyebrow. Of course, why should he be? “You do realise everyone that’s been interested just wants to get in your pants, don’t you?” he teased, his lips curving up at one side. “See, you should have been more specific in your desperate advertisement. If you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend, just ask. But I’d need to get something out of it.”

  “I don’t want you to do it.”

  He placed his hand to his chest, his brow furrowed, but his eyes still teasing. “You wound me, Miss Kemper.”

  “Get over it,” she said. “I’ll email the illustrations by the end of the day.”

  “Already done,” he said, heading back towards the door.

  She really didn’t want him to be her fake boyfriend, but what he said tugged at her thoughts. Had every guy who had enquired only wanted a chance to get in her pants? It was plausible. None of them had actually wanted something out of it, even though it would be a contract of sorts. But Adam said he’d want something out of it, and she couldn’t help but wonder what that could be.

  “Adam?” she said. He turned to face her, his hand on the doorframe. “What would you want out of it?”

  His mischievous grin returned. “Are you considering asking me?”

  “No,” she said, maybe a little too abruptly. “I’m just curious what it would be.”

  “All right,” he said. His fingers tapped against the doorframe. “I’ve written a poetry book and want to get it published. I need it illustrated before I can do anything with it.”

  “And you’d want me to illustrate it.”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Like you said, I’m not good enough. So, it looks like I’ll have to find someone else to illustrate it for me.” He left the room but stuck his head back in through the door. “Oh, I’ll send a search party for you if I don’t see you on Monday. Don’t forget those reports.”

  Once she was certain he was gone, she rested her head on her hands. God, this was a terrible idea.

  ΅ ΅ ΅

  Lacey sent the email with the illustrations to Adam and tapped her fingers on the desk. It was almost the end of the day and there still wasn’t anyone that she was convinced on to act as her boyfriend for the weekend. Who knew there were so many strange people in her workplace? The closest she got to agreeing to someone was the designer—the noticeably gay designer. Her family wouldn’t buy it. As much as she hated to admit it, Adam was right. She couldn’t be picky. Not now that she was desperate. Well, she was desperate when she wrote the notice. But now, she’d run out of time.

  She picked up the piece of paper she’d written her address on, slung her handbag over her shoulder and beelined towards his office, each step closer feeling more and more forced. Her hand felt like a heavy weight as she lifted it and knocked on his opened door, poking her head in.

  “Lacey,” he said, his expression surprised. “I hope you visiting my office means you’ve finally got those illustrations done.”

  “They’re in your inbox,” she said, fidgeting with the paper in her hand. “I had until the end of the day, remember?”

  “Which it is now. You’ve left me no room for negotiation.”

  She scoffed. “You’ve never negotiated on my illustrations before.”

  “There’s always a first.” He looked back to his computer for a moment, then glanced back up at her. She hadn’t moved. “Do you need something else?”

  “I’ll do it,” she said hesitantly.

  He leaned back in his chair, his eyebrow raised. “Do what?”

  She tried to look anywhere other than directly at him. “I’ll illustrate your book for you, if you … umm … pretend to be my boyfriend for the weekend.” She held her breath, waiting for his answer, still not looking at him. Or waiting for her to wake up because this was surely a terrible dream and wasn’t really happening.

  At first, he said nothing. Each second making her a bit more nervous. “No, I’m good,” he finally said.

  Her eyes shot towards him. “What?”

  He shrugged. “I’m busy.”

  “But you—” She couldn’t think of what to say. This guy infuriated her. Frustrated her. Pressed all the wrong buttons.

  “What can I say? I don’t like being the last resort, Lacey.” He rose from his seat and moved to the other side of his desk, leaning back on it.

  “You didn’t even want to do it!” she spat, taking a few steps towards him before halting.

  “I also gave you my condition.”

  “Which I’m taking you up on now,” she said, folding her arms across her chest.

  She hadn’t been happy about having to ask him to do it to start with. Now, she felt like she had to convince him to do it. Surely, going to the party alone and disappointing her family wouldn’t be as bad as having to spend the weekend—or any time, for that matter—with him anyway, right?

  “Yeah, at t
he end of the day when you’ve run out of options.”

  “I’m not going to beg you to come with me if that’s what you’re getting at.”

  He shrugged his shoulders, turning towards his desk to organise some papers. “Then it looks like you’re out of luck.”

  He didn’t turn to face her, even though she stayed put, tapping her foot. Her blood was boiling, and she was frustrated as hell. Every part of her was screaming to let it be—that she shouldn’t even try to convince him to go with her. But a small part of her—the part that would do anything to make sure she didn’t disappoint her grandmother—kept her there, humbling her—or rather, degrading her—to follow through with this. She had to hand it to him—he was good. He knew how to play the game and get what he wanted. If she hadn’t been so desperate, it might not have worked.

  “Please, Adam?” she said, her voice as sincere as she could manage without choking on her words. “I’ll illustrate this book, and the next if you write another.”

  He turned to face her, his eyebrow raised, curiosity flashing across his face. “Go on.”

  “And, I’ll—” She glanced around the room in an attempt to think of something else. “I’ll stop berating you about bringing the reports into my office instead of emailing.”

  “And?”

  “And I’ll bring you a coffee every morning for a month.”

  “Make it two months.”

  “Does that mean you’ll do it?” Strangely, she felt a wave of relief wash over her before that worried feeling of having to spend the weekend with him took over again.

  “Well, I can’t have other people knowing you’re into begging, so yes, I will do it.”

  She let his comment slide. He had just pulled her out of a pickle, after all. Now wouldn’t be a good time to throw an insult his way.

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, Lacey.”

  His smile seemed genuine, but the mischievous flash in his eyes made her wonder what he planned to do on the weekend. She hoped he wasn’t going to mess things up for her. He wouldn’t do that, would he? Her eyes moved away from him to his computer.